Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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