some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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