i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
You pole danced in your parka.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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