JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
