I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
