Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
