scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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