At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
