handjob tips. give me some.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
