just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
