Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
