I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
