scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
