but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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