She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
