You really coming over, don't trick.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
