He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
