Soap is not a condiment
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
