I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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