You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
