I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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