So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
