when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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