eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
