East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
