Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
