Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
