Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
