new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
nutella sex= disaster
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize