It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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