Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
