I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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