SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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