Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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