she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
