chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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