It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
