You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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