New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
