After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
