Your tits are I can't wait for
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
