we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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