I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
