marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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