Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
