my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
