mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
