I puked a lego.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is wine microwaveable?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
