his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
