He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
